Invisible String: A Book Review
13/07/2018
High school can be a stressful time for adolescents, but when it comes to exam periods, especially the VCE, stress can become so strong that it feels overwhelming and paralysing to students.
Sometimes the pressure of schooling and expectations of success can result in difficulties with anxiety and depression.
If you are a parent wanting to support you child during these high stress times, here are a couple of tips to make it make it bit easier and hopefully a more manageable and productive stage in their life.
- First and foremost, put things in
perspective. While education is very important, in the overall course of life, exams and assessment periods are very part. Focus on the bigger picture, and help your child see that this stress will end and there is a future beyond this point. - Support your child to take breaks. This might sound counter-intuitive but breaks are very important for the mind to rest and rebuild its energy to tackle the work. It could be helpful to sit down with your child and develop a schedule that includes an hours worth of work, then a 10- 15 minute break where they do something enjoyable. These short breaks are a time to switch off – have a snack, go outside and stretch and then get back into it for another hour and repeat that process.
- Encourage physical activity. Go for a walk or run, or now that it’s getting a bit warmer, go swimming! Exercise is fantastic for releasing tension and stress, as well as getting a large release of endorphins. Endoorphins are the feel-good chemicals that boost mood, confidence.
- Switch off. Provide time and space for relaxation activities such as mindfulness or meditation. Not only do mindfulness and meditation help to reduce stress and anxiety but they help develop attention and concentration skills, which are very handy during the school year.
Be approachable. This is important so that your child feels like they can talk to you about their feelings. They need someone who can listen to their concerns and provide feedback that is on the lighter side (i.e. let them know that you are proud of them for their efforts, not for the outcome).
Unfortunately, after the exams have finished, the anxiety and stress doesn’t always end at that time. Young people then have a few months to wait for their exam results. What can you do to support your son or daughter through this time?
- Help shift the focus. The anticipation of waiting for results to come about, and even worrying about what the results are going to be can be really tricky. Try to encourage your child to live a balanced life – this includes spending time with family and friends, engaging in leisure and relaxation activities, or possibly finding casual/ part-time work to foster independence and purposeful activity
- Remind your child there are always options in life. If your child doesn’t get the grades they wanted or expected, it isn’t the end of the world; there are always alternative options and avenues that can be taken to reach their goal destination.
- Encourage good physical self-care through adequate sleep, good nutrition and exercise.
- Help your child identify and let go of unhelpful, negative thoughts.
For example, if your child is getting caught up in unhelpful “should” thoughts such as “I should have done better” remind them that they did their best, it can’t be changed now and it is more helpful to think about the future. Remind them that you are there to support them to figure out a plan when their results are released. - Encourage self-compassion. Being kind to ourselves is a great, life-long ability to have to get us through difficult times in life. One way to do this is by giving ourselves permission to be imperfect.
